Bye-bye, Bitcoin.

What a short, strange trip it's been.

When I moved out of my apartment last summer and sold off things I no longer wanted to keep around, I would then take the cash, walk down to the nearby Bank of America ATM, and immediately deposit the bills. On the walk back, I'd fire up Robinhood on my phone, and invest that money in Bitcoin fractions. I wanted to dip my toes in 'dem murky crypto waters!

All told, it was about $515. But that quickly shot up to around $650 as Bitcoin's price surged from $9,000 per Bitcoin to $13,000 in late June/early July 2019. Nothing life changing, but hey, a 30% return in about 3 weeks? Sign me up!

And like clockwork, Bitcoin steadily declined over the next few months, sinking to $8,000 around November 2019. And then it basically stayed in the red for the next eight months (relative to my $515 investment). Finally, it cracked $10,000 again a few weeks ago. Presumably, this is because people are worried about inflation as governments around the world "print up" billions in stimulus aid to prop up COVID-stricken economies. But like all things crypto, who the hell really knows?

(I say "print up" in quotes because, hey, it's 2020. How much much paper and coin currency is the treasury even producing? It's mostly a bunch of numbers on a monitor or touchscreen at this point, right? Want to create more money? Just add a few zeroes before the decimal point.) Regardless, I couldn't wait to unload Bitcoin for a small but sure profit of $25. And during my brief time owning that nominal fraction, I became acutely aware of crypto's biggest problem: As a form of payment accepted by merchants, you'll have better luck with a Diners Club International card. In other words, Bitcoin is hardly ever used to fulfill its primary purpose: currency. And no one can say for sure if it ever will.

It's just this hot potato that people buy, hoping it appreciates in value during the time they hold it, before they can lob it to someone else in exchange for something of use...like money backed by a stable government.

I get the whole concept that the amount of Bitcoin is more finite than Fiat money (at least, theoretically). Also, the amount that's in circulation is more transparent (instead of clandestinely controlled by central banks). But if it's currency that can't actually be used to pay for gas, take a vacation, buy a round of drinks (back when bars existed), etc, is it even really currency?

So long, crypto. I hardly knew ye.